Happy Born Day to Kai Livngston

Today is my firstborn, Kai Livingston's, 9th Birthday. I remember the first day I laid eyes on him. It was a Monday morning. I was only 23 years of age. Fresh out of college, new to seminary life, and a full-time minister of Christian Education at a local congregation in Houston...I had NO idea how to be a Father, much less a 'Daddy'! I was so proud of my wife, D'Ani. I was in such disillusion for 9 months. I had always had the ideal of being 'ready' when I grew and had children. I had dreamt of having a house with a nice picket fence (paid for), with a few cars (almost paid for), finished with seminary, and a hefty cushion in savings...by the time our family came along. None of that ringed true. As a result, I felt a strong sense of human inadequacy. Looking back, I should have relied more upon the providential hand of God at work in D\'Ani and I\'s life. This took us by surprise (with a little assistance of our own!) but it had not caught God by surprise. Someone has said that a surprise is God\'s way of remaining anonymous.

But....when I held Kai in my arms, and looked in his eyes....I fell so deeply in love. How could God entrust me with such a small, precious gift. Though I may not have known how to be a Daddy, Kai makes it so very simple because he is such a great son. Do we have challenges? Of course...there is 3rd Grade Math! But I believe in him, as much as he believes in Dee and I as his parents, being there for him. When I held him in my arms, I was so afraid of what lay ahead...but...God has been so faithful. god has done to me as I always say to each of my boys, "I got you".

I love you, Kai. I'm excited about the young man God will grow you to become. I look forward to seeing you go further and climb higher than Daddy ever could. I love you always!

A Present Salvation

A Present Salvation

Creator and Redeemer God,

Author of all existence, source of all blessedness,
I adore thee for making me capable of knowing thee,
for giving me reason and conscience,
for leading me to desire thee;

I praise thee for the revelation of thyself in the gospel,
for thy heart as a dwelling place of pity,
for thy thoughts of peace towards me,
for thy patience and thy graciousness,
for the vastness of thy mercy.

Thou hast moved my conscience to know how
the guilty can be pardoned,
the unholy sanctified,
the poor enriched.

May I be always amongst those who not only hear but know thee,
who walk with and rejoice in thee,
who take thee at thy word and find life there.

Keep me always longing for a present salvation
in Holy Spirit comforts and rejoicings,
for spiritual graces and blessings,
for help to value my duties as well as my privileges.

May I cherish simplicity and godly sincerity of character.

Help me to be in reality before thee
as in appearance I am before men,
to be religious before I profess religion,
to leave the world before I enter the church,
to set my affections on things above,
to shun forbidden follies and vanities,
to be a dispenser as well as a partaker of grace,
to be prepared to bear evil as well as to do good.

O God, make me worthy of this calling,
that the name of Jesus may be glorified in me
and I in him.

-The Valley of Vision

Unintentional

To say that I've been away for more than a moment is beyond sheer hyperbole. That being said, I'm glad to have yet another blogging moment. Every now and then, in various parts of the city and even country, I will come across someone who will tell me how blessed they've been through my blogs. My response never changes - there is always a sense of surprise! This often humbles me, in knowing I am always unsure (as with the average minister and their sermon presentation) of who I've touched through my writings. However, it is always good to know that some has been touched and benefit as a result of my sharing and transparency.

I never intended to be away for such a long period to time. While some have abandoned the blogging medium for years, 7 months since my last blog, for ME, is a LONG time. The good news is this - today is a new day. I am thankful that there have been no extenuating circumstances attributed to my absence...my loved ones are still alive and well, children are healthy and growing, my wife and I celebrated another year of marital blessing and bliss, no scandal has incurred within my ministry, the church is fine and growing, God has opened a door for me in the area of Chaplaincy, on and on. I guess, it just happened. Good news is - it's a new day.

What is my point?

Unintended or not, there is something that applies to all of us and misses NONE of us - we all have moments, seasons or experiences where we find ourselves doing things we never intended. Perhaps it involves some failure, happenstance, tragedy, some sin or shortcoming, some chore left undone, a letter that you forgot to place in the mail. Maybe you forgot an anniversary (God forbid!) or some special day.

Here is the good news, if you're reading this: 1) You're a survivor. 2) It's a NEW day. 3) You are empowered by God to begin AGAIN. 4) You are here to tell your story.

Isn't that good news? While I have no exact scripture in this blog, I will assure this is ultimately the message God conveys to us through the cross of Calvary. In that crushing place, the Place of the Skull, somewhere between His Son's vicarious, ignominious death and the victorious triumph on the 3rd day, we see the NEW day has begun!

What's been going on in My World, Part Two

As I stood there on that Sunday morning on the first Sunday in November, I felt a sense of peace...with regard to the continuance of the vision God had given me. I felt a sense of relief...in believing this was the direction God was leading me. Admittedly, I felt a burden...knowing my heart was still strongly connected to the people who had been so supportive, along with persons there who had come to receive Christ while with me. There was a part of me that was apprehensive in knowing, as a 'Founding Pastor', there is a certain level of power and freedom that you experience in leadership that is very rare, and hard to obtain...in our cultural and religious contexts. It had it's advantages and disadvantages! I would always struggle with seeing Pastors who had great visions who had to place their dreams on the shelf because a committee or board voted against it. And, in a sense, I felt that if I were to continue on as a Pastor I 1) probably would never plant a church again and 2) I would be a part of a system that tried to run the preacher.

All of these dynamics were at work in those moments; and, even now, there are high highs and low lows. There are moments of confusion, disappointment, happiness, peace, tranquility and much sadness. All in all, I know that the first Sunday in November was a wise and prayerful decision. What happened afterwords, is what became most difficult.

After viewing a sense of confusion and misunderstanding, I decided to take the advice of a Pastoral acquaintance of mine - to have a church wide dialogue with our members in place of Sunday school. After morning communion, I announced that plan, to which some members attended. As timing would have it, two of our ministers were out. With a total of about 20 to 25 people present in the fellowship hall of the church, I told them my desire to hear them. I was not there to expound on what I had said, but wanted to know their thoughts and, if able, to answer their questions. Some asked for clarity, not understanding if they had actually heard me say that I was moving on. Some were insistent that I must be going somewhere else. Others asked what would happen next.

I expressed my plan to serve for the next month, and to make a transition for their search for a new pastor. I did express that I had someone in mind. What I thought would be met with excitement, turned to seeming disappointment with my choice. Looking back, I should have insisted that they meet with this young man, and seeing where he stood. However, I began to falter, not realizing in wisdom that they were in shock, and that if I had mentioned to them the Pope would be taking over, no matter how ideal...that was not the time to trust their instincts or judgments. Many of them cried. Some expressed their anger. In hindsight, I can still honestly say that my motives were pure and I was not running away. After all 40 or so people, active members, give or take, is still a good number. Giving wasn't it's best, but we weren't in any debt. I LITERALLY felt as I had expressed, I had taken them as far as I could. Period!

Then....I said, during that month, I would talk with my Pastor in Houston, and will continue in prayer. In hindsight, what this did was gave no sense of closure, on my part. It was not my first, but most impressionable, lesson in the reality that it is not WHAT you do, but HOW you do it that can make the world of difference. As the Founder AND Pastor, while logic says I should have stayed forever, IF I was not...I should have TOLD them where they were going next and with whom, and they would make the decision to follow or not.

I decided that I would take a break from Pastoring, concentrate on Preaching, Teach at a Bible College in Houston a few nights a week, go back to my Houston church, finally begin a doctoral program, and enjoy making a living as a chaplain. I'd even explored entering the reserves! I had no doubt that if God wanted me to Pastor...I could and would Pastor.

As if things weren't complicated enough, something I didn't want to happen, and certainly didn't anticipate happening...happened! I had known of a church congregation, of which I'd preached several times as a teenager, who had been searching for a Pastor. This church, also a part of my Father's association of churches, I knew, was a great congregation, from what I could remember. This church, in Victoria (1 1/2 hours from Houston), seemed to be a good church for someone older in age, but yet good with youth, and could do a great job of rebuilding after a period of struggle and hardship. One day I was talking to a fellow-chaplain resident who was aggressively looking for and at churches searching for Pastors. For the time I had known him, he had been unable to secure anything. I don't know what it was, but Mt. Salem in Victoria came to mind! I told him what I knew about the church, which was very little. He asked if he could contact my father, etc. The next thing I knew, he had actually been asked to preach at the church in Victoria the last Sunday in October. The report was...they loved him! I was excited on several fronts...first, a good congregation was excited about this new chapter. Second, my colleague was about to finally fulfill the goal of pastoring in Texas (he had come from California) and third, my father and his association would now have someone to lead this congregation, which would benefit them. The congregation then asked him to come and be with them the first week in November. I was happy for my colleague and them.

After the 2nd Sunday, I get a call from the Pastor who was working with the congregation in Victoria...who asked how I was doing; how the ministry was going (I did not tell him of my 1st Sunday incident), etc. He then told me that the church would not be considering my colleague. He then asked, if I would be willing to Be a candidate. I immediately and unreservedly said 'No Sir!' He, of course, asked why not. Not mentioning my new plans of being back in the Dallas Fort Worth area, after my residency in September 2011, i simply expressed, first, I don't think it is right to go and be a candidate at a church I recommended someone to inquire about and, second, I didn't hear Victoria in my vision. Logic told me - don't ruin a possible lifelong friendship with someone to be a candidate in a place you don't have any plans of going. But then....after he said a few other things, the Pastor said, 'Can you come and preach?'. Now...I grew up in a setting where, unless you are dead or incapacitated, you PREACH. I didn't hesitate for a moment! I gave him one stipulation, however - I can only come the Sunday after Thanksgiving. That's it. And I could not schedule anything beyond that. But then he said something to me...'just when you come a preach, pray. And then see what God says'. That was a set up!

On the 3rd Sunday of November, I traveled to Victoria. I was so intent on going there, preaching a message of encouragement to them, not being a candidate...that I didn't even take my family. I preached out of Philippians 1:12-16 and entitled the message 'Knocked Down but Not Knocked Out'. To be honest, there was nothing exceptional about the message, other than Jesus Christ, of course. I did sing, which is VERY rare for me, but nothing out of the ordinary. When I got back to Houston, I followed up with that Pastor with simply a courtesy call, thanking him for the opportunity to preach. He called me back to inform me that he heard nothing but positive feedback about my being with them.

He then asked me 'What'd you think?' and 'Did you pray?'

Next time I'll have to explain what I saw, my prayer and how I responded, initially....

Positive Power of Words

I came across an interesting yet true story about the author of one of my favorite novels, Nathaniel Hawthorne.

Nathaniel Hawthorne came home heartbroken. He’d just been fired from his job in the custom house. His wife, rather than responding with anxiety, surprised him with joy. “Now you can write your book!”

He wasn’t so positive. “And what shall we live on while I’m writing it?”

To his amazement she opened a drawer and revealed a wad of money she’d saved out of her housekeeping budget. “I always knew you were a man of genius,” she told him. “I always knew you’d write a masterpiece.”

She believed in her husband. And because she did, he wrote. And because he wrote, every library in America has a copy of The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne.

The Hidden and prevailing lesson I carry away from Hawthorne's biography is that we have the power to change someone’s life simply by the words we speak and write. “Death and life are in the power of the tongue.” We often misinterpret these words, typically employing them for our own selfish promotions and proclivities. But behind these words of Solomon are a simple, yet profound truth and reality...there is power in words. All of my life I have loved and enjoyed paper, words, writings and books. My love for books is something that comes naturally: My father, my paternal grandfather, and my great-grandmother...just to name a few, are and/or were lovers of words and books. I look on with such nostalgia and internal joy as I see my sons cultivating a love for books and reading. I hope and pray this continues. Many of my teachers, professors and peers have encouraged me, through the years, to think about one day writing. My current chaplain supervisor has stressed his desire to see me 'move toward the possibility of publication'. I would almost agree were it not for my own tendency to be overly critical of myself, coupled with my tendency to procrastinate when I'm uncertain of the ambiguous. Many moons ago, one of my seminary professors encouraged me to become a 'blogger'. Little did I know the underlying challenges and discipline that are connected to a blog. I'm definitely sporadic, but love it when I make time to record and chronicle my thoughts. I hope to do better!

My hope and prayer, during this stage of my life, is to have FAITH to know that my WORDS are meaningful and significant; and have the power to change lives.

In borrowing a popular Max Lucado favorite of mine, an example of this form of faith was found on the wall of a concentration camp. On it a prisoner had carved the words:
I believe in the sun, even though it doesn’t shine.
I believe in love, even when it isn’t shown.
I believe in God, even when he doesn’t speak.

Sermon from 06/26/2011 @ Mt. Salem BC

Title: Possessing God's Promises
Series: Conquering Conquests
Joshua 1:1-9

Recently I came across an article that described the Cherokee Indian youth's rite of passage from boyhood to manhood? In this seemingly cruel and dogmatic ritual the father leaves his son alone in a forest blindfolded. He is told to sit on a tree stump the whole night and to not remove the blindfold until the rays of the morning sun come shining through. He is forbidden to cower, cry out or seek help from anyone. In the ritual it is said that once he survives the night, he is a man. Because each boy must come into manhood on his own, he cannot tell the other boys of this experience. The boy is naturally terrified. Can you imagine the anxiety, tension and fear that lurks from without and within. He can hear all kinds of noises. Wild beasts must surely be all around him. Maybe even some human might do him harm. The wind blows the grass and shakes the trees, but the boy is to sit stoically, never removing the blindfold. Finally, after a horrific night, the sun appears and the boy removes his blindfold. But much to his surprise and delight he discovers his father sitting on the stump next to him. Interestingly, the proud father has been there the entire night, watching over and protecting his son from harm.

When I first read that story I thought about the fact that there is a thin divine line between spiritual infancy and spiritual maturity. So often we will become fearful and frightened by the hounding winds of helplessness and the haunting howls of hopelessness, despair and discouragement. But God, Who is our sovereign, resourceful, omniscient, all-wise heavenly Father sees us and knows where we are. Even when He cannot be viewed by us, we are still in His view and foresight. The problems we face in time are eternally in His view. He will never leave us nor forsake us.

This is the message that God rings clear to young Joshua. The opening words of the book of Joshua describe a period of transition. It marks not only a change in leadership but a change in purpose. The people would change from Moses to Joshua and also from wanderers to warriors. This change would not only be difficult for the fledging nation, but also for Joshua. Verse 1 informs us that Moses is dead. The death of Moses was a heavy blow to the Israelites. He was the one who had led them out of the oppressive Egyptian bondage.
When the people were discouraged and wanted to go back to Egypt, God uses Moses to calm and rally the people to ‘Fear not, stand still and see the salvation of the Lord’.

When the Israelites were thirsty, God used Moses to cause water to flow from a stone. When the Israelites were hungry, God answered Moses' prayers and sent quail and bread from heaven. For almost 40 years, Moses had served as the Israelite's leader and legislator. He alone spoke face-to-face with God on their behalf. But now he was dead! 
Here Israel is still encamped on the plains of Moab, directly east of the Jordan River, at the very edge of the Land of Promise. For 30 days they mourned Moses, their beloved leader, but now it was time to inherit the land God had promised to Abraham and their forefathers hundreds of years earlier. Joshua, God’s newly anointed and appointed leader of the Israelites, according to Numbers 27:22 and 23, had been commissioned by Moses before his death, and he was now being ordained by God. So let’s walk through these opening verses of the call of Joshua and consider the practical implications of possessing God’s promises.

I. We are Called to Follow God’s Plan

Question: Can you follow God’s goal and plan for your life even when your faith is shaken, the facts are precarious and your feelings aren’t on board?

What are the plans for Joshua and, moreover, the believer? This account of Joshua on the edge of possessing God’s promise in following God’s plan is threefold:

a. It Is a Plan for Freedom (Verse 2a)
He says ‘arise’ from this place and go ‘over the Jordan’ to the place ‘I am giving to them’. There are two pivotal moments for the people of Israel, between the Book of Exodus and Joshua. One of them had already taken place through the leadership of Moses; that is to get them out of Egypt. The other was to take place under the leadership of Joshua; and that is to get Egypt out of them! The picture of the people of Israel to the land of Pharaoh in Egypt is symbolic of you and I, the believer’s, encounter with the world in which we live. Those of us, you and I, who have been saved have been set free from the enemy (Pharaoh, Satan) and from the land of Egypt, the world, but the other end of the fight is to get the world out of you.

2 Corinthians 5:17 says, ‘if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, all things are made new.’
Romans 8:9 says, ‘…you are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God dwells in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he is not His.’

John chapter 11:1-11 records the story of Lazarus, the relative of Mary and Martha. Scripture records Christ receiving the report that says Lazarus has died. Christ calls for him to come forth. Lazarus did come forth in a miracle of resurrected life. But yet, while the resurrection was, in fact, effective, the work was yet incomplete. Lazarus still had on the grave clothes. And Jesus tells His disciples to loose him and let him go! In a real sense, Jesus was showing, now that you are out of the grave, my work is not complete until I get the grave off of you. God wanted the Israelite people free. He wanted them to be free of Pharaoh and of Egypt, but He wanted them to also be free of an Egyptian mindset and wilderness mentality. In the same way, the Christian life for the believer can be a difficult life unless you are liberated from legalism, laziness and lethargy. You must be filled with God's Spirit and know that there is more to being a Christian than just being saved.

b. It is a Plan for Fullness (Verse 2b) ‘I am giving; inheritance’.
When we read the word "am," which in Hebrew is `asah and means "accomplish, bestow, perform, or fulfill," we see what God is doing. This verb describes something that is happening in the present tense and the active voice. The promise for this land was given to Abraham hundreds of years before, and now Israel are at the actual moment of possessing the land which God promised to them. They are standing on the banks of the Jordan River and can look across at the Promised Land.

c. It is a plan that requires faith (Verse 6a, 7a, 9b)

Consider Joshua was like some of us, for a moment. Joshua must have been anxious and fearful because of Israel’s past failure to enter the Promised Land and because of the death of Moses. In verse 6a, God’s message to Joshua is “be strong and courageous.” The message was so important that God repeats it three times.

II. We are Commanded to Treasure God’s Precepts (Verses 7 and 8)
`
Some years ago a passenger train was rushing into New York as another train was emerging. There was a head-on collision. And some fifty lives were lost. An engineer was pinned under his engine, frightfully injured, and tears were running down his cheeks. In his dying agony he held a piece of yellow paper crushed in his hand, and said: “Take this. This will show you that someone gave me the wrong orders.”

Verses 8 and 9 give in detail the special relationship Joshua was to have for the written law of Moses. According to the very first paragraphs of the book of Joshua, Joshua—this new leader—has the law of Moses. Moreover, the law of Moses already had the exalted status of a revelation from God. Important as it was to possess the Word of God in written form, as we also possess it, that was not enough to assure Joshua’s success as Israel’s new commander. He was not only to possess the Bible in a technical or theoretical sense; God says to Joshua, in verse 7 and 8 that it must be personal. This is the heart of his instruction by God.

There are four parts to Joshua’s instruction to treasuring God’s precepts.

a. God’s Word must be Known.

Psalm 119:11 says, ‘Thy Word have I hidden in my heart, that I might not sin against Thee.’

Psalm 37:31 says, ‘The law of his God is in his heart; none of his steps shall slide.’

b. God’s Precepts must be Spoken.
The text says, “Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth” (Josh. 1:8). Joshua was to talk about the Bible in his normal day-by-day contacts with family, soldiers, friends, and others who were part of the nation. Tragically, most of us would rather talk to God about people then to talk to people about God’s Word.

c. God’s Precepts must be Digested.

d. God’s Precepts must be Lived.
The last element in this list of requirements is the most important. Not only was Joshua to know, speak about, and meditate on the law of Moses, he was also and chiefly to obey it. God said, “Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left.… Be careful to do everything written in it” (Josh. 1:7–8).

Someone has said that, ‘Men do not reject the Bible because it contradicts itself, but because it contradicts them.

III. We are Commissioned to Trust the Promise of God’s Provision

The Lord commanded Joshua to prepare himself and the people to cross the Jordan and take possession of the land. He makes three promises to His new leader: (1) A promise of land, "'Wherever you set foot, you will be on land I have given you'" (Joshua 1:3, NLT); (2) A promise of victory, "No one will be able to stand against you as long as you live" (from 1:5, NLT); and (3) A promise of presence, "For I will be with you as I was with Moses. I will not fail you or abandon you" (1:5b, NLT).

a. God will Equip us
Here is a promise of land: "'Wherever you set foot, you will be on land I have given you'" (Joshua 1:3, NLT). Joshua was going to experience the fulfillment of the promise God made to Abraham and repeated to his sons Isaac and Jacob. He would lead the people into the land that had been promised to Moses. The Israelites would occupy the land from the great river to the great sea. The area described is roughly the same area God promised to Abraham (Genesis 15:18-20).

b. God will Encourage us
Here is a promise of victory: "No one will be able to stand against you as long as you live" (1:5a, NLT). God promised Joshua victory over anybody and everybody who came against him. This promise was not limited to the taking of the Promised Land, but was extended for as long as Joshua lived. However, this promise came with a warning. The people who lived in the land were protected by powerful armies and fortified cities. The battles would be hard fought. As it was in Canaan, the Christian life is a life of conflict with enemies who must be confronted and overcome. Although the outcome of our battle is assured, we must be prepared for conflict if we are to claim the kingdom's earthly promise of righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit (Romans 14:17, NLT).

I love how God, in His Word, always keep ever before us that we don't have what it tales to accomplish the task or reach the goal; but He always seems to point out...but you got it in you! * seems like a contradiction in terms

c. God will Enable us

Hear this: where God guides, He provides..

What is there in your life you need to conquer?

He will enable you!

Isaiah 40:29-31:
He giveth power to the faint
And to those who have no might He increases strength.
Even the youths shall faint and be weary,
And the young men shall utterly fall,
But those who bwait on the Lord
Shall renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint.

What's Been Going on in my World, Part One

It goes without saying that I've been in a period of transition. In November of 2010, I stood in the pulpit and shared with the congregation I founded in 2005, that I felt I had taken our church as far as I could. Our congregation, like many churches, had weathered through many challenges and tests. Some, through the years, were added, while others went on to other places as seasons would change, as they do. But I sensed, for some time, that this was not my church. Yes...I know it is not mine by ownership; but a release from it perhaps no longer being mine by stewardship. This was a total shock for me, and a blow to everything, little or much, I had spent more than 6 years...invested in. I saw the vision. I felt the vision. I had a fire emblazoned within for that vision. Nothing and no one could or would deter me....until, I saw my reality completely disconnected from the vision God had given me. Quite natually, this process seems normal. We all have seasons where we don't see what we envisioned. And I did, for years, liken the many red flags to "spiritual warfare". Several years ago, for the 2nd time in my ministry life, and first as a pastor, I entertained the prospect of going to pastor a nearby congregation, who had been searching for a pastor. I was a little hesitant, knowing that congregation had voted out their pastor. While being a more prominent church in Houston, it didn't help that the church was less than 15 miles from where our congregation worshipped. I was one of two candidates presented to this church for consideration of the pastorate. My internal plan was to possibly merge my congregation there, which would have worked well when considering music and ministry styles, etc. All seemed well, interview went GREAT, the committee seemed to love me, and I was more confident than usual, though prayerful, not overly confident. But something happened that, I believe, bruised me personally and also made me somewhat resentful to myself more than others. As I walked out into the sanctuary...I saw many people present from the congregation I pastored. Apparently, someone close to me had spread to others in our church where I would be preaching, and why. That, with also the visibility of this church, naturally drew my curious parishioners. As I saw that, in that very moment....my spirit sank. It was as if i had no further drive to pursue this vineyard, especially staring into the faces of some of the people i had pastored for, at that time, 4 years, including the person i knew shared where i would be. I should've just preached my heart out. While I did preach the Word, I look now at that DVD, and am certain it was not even close to my best. I'm still realizing the scars that experience left me with. But what I do know, in hindsight, is that was where my credibility was called into question. Things, for me, were never the same again. Until this day, I still don't understand the logic of the person who even shared that trusted information. But that, along with many experiences, taught me many invaluable lessons regarding life, people, and our people. After that, the other congregations voted to call the other candidate. That was September 2008. Things were not the same for myself or the congregation, after that. I made a decision, at that point, I would remain faithful where God had planted me; not pursue anything that God did not tell me to and, third, to go home and give my very best.

For the next two years, that is exactly what I did. I gave my all, implemented a few changes, and began to evaluate where we were in moving forward, including a better facility, with classroom space and technologically savvy, along with more freedom for facility use. Personally, I accelerated my educational pursuits, obtaining my MDiv from Southwestern in May of 2009. I felt if I had to start all over again, I would be bi-vocational, which led me to Chaplain Residency, which began in September 2009. Little did I know, or anticipate, the toll this would take, nor the growth and maturity this would require of my already fledgling congregation. I began to see that, as I moved over, many were not stepping up. Those that were stepping up, the ones who weren't stepping up resented those that were. Immediately, I began to hone in on my gift of Christian Education to try and grow our people to all were as teams, and to all work in the area of evangelism and outreach. I expected some to step up more, but they didn't, and I was busy trying to jeep up at the hospital. Eventually, a few left as a result of my growing commitment to the hospital. It would be impossible for any member I pastor to call and I not be there. That was guaranteed. But....I think they may have sensed my busy-ness, ESPECiALLY the young adults. That is, in fact, the only demographic I've discovered, who must have that connection with their pastor. Don't know if this is because I'm a young adult and they see more in me; but from my readings and research, I gather it has much to do with a generational things my generation needs to have with their leader. All in all....I sometimes winder if I should have just 'sucked it up' after a long day, and met a different person, each day, at Starbucks. But if I did that I'd drive myself crazy. I would later discover that I'm actually a very good pastor who loves people. Something I suppose I knew all along. After all, I've only been under great pastors, so I got something by osmosis!

At every stage and phase, I saw a different dynamic at work. I have gone through my own changes, and so had the congregation. Somewhere along, I sensed a change taking place between us.

Back to November 2010....I preached the first Sunday of that month entitled 'When God says No', referring to God's informing to David that he would not build the temple. I simply said, without saying I heard an audible voice from God (I'm afraid to do that), I had taken the church as far as I could. I had it all figured out...even had in mind who would succeed me. Little did I know....my life and ministry would become more difficult than ever.

In just one Sunday....
I was viewed (not by all people, don't get me wrong)
....as a quitter
....as opportunistic
....as discouraged by the numbers
.....as disappointed in our people

I felt that I had searched and personally settled all of these issues, deducting them as not me...even before mounting the pulpit that Sunday morning. What happened next, is when things probably became a little more complicated.

Stay tuned for part two of 'Whats been going on in my world"...

God is Faithful

I am currently in the process of reading Ray Pritchard's 'The God you can Trust.' In it Pritchard seeks to unmask the theological query many of us tend to grapple with as it relates to the reliance and providence of the very things that devastate our heart and leave us looking for answers - what can we trust? More specifically, we are lead to explore Whom we trust!? When an expectant mother rushes to the ER and gives birth unexpectedly to a stillborn; when a healthy Christian seeking to devote her life to missions goes for her annual checkup only to be informed that cancer is riveting her physical anatomy and she can expect to live, at most, the next three months alive. Or...when a devoted husband of two is delivered divorce papers, and later told by his wife of 20 years that she has fallen in love with his best friend. Inevitably...we are called to examine the extreme elements of our trust.

Of course, Pritchard's theme and thesis points to conclude the inevitable reality that the answer to life's queries are in God and God alone. I am convinced that God, in and through His Word, is teaching me the importance of ministering efficiently and effectively to beleivers who are struggling to 'hold on to their faith in the midst of confusing circumstances, unexplainable tragedy, and their own foolish mistakes'. Charles Haddon Spurgeon is noted to have said in his lecture series to his students that our preaching should strive to minister to those that are hurting. He says that if they minister to them that hurt they will always have captive audience.

Obviously the same is true today! People are hurting. People are struggling. And unfortunately, many false leaders have gone to the extreme and have begun to incorrectly minister to the struggling masses by feeding them placebo (candy) and spiritual lolipops that will only appease them temporarily and superficially. This concerns me; but it also strengthens my faith, in knowing that God's Word is faithful and true. We are seeing a true manifestation of a generation that 'will not endure sound doctrine' and those who have 'itching ears'.

My prayer for those who are my comrades in faith and ministry is that they (you), whether leading 50 or 5000, will remain faithful to the One Who remains so faithful to us. I concur with Pritchard, He is a God we can verily and surely trust!

Another Year, Another Blog

As I look through the blogging landscape of my blogging peers, I see and note that many have steeped back from the blogging community. For me, I have been going through a season of testing and ministry challenge for several months. With that said, I also realize that God is doing some unusual things in my life and ministry - many of those things entail things I never thought would be included as a part of His plan for me. My saying to God on July 4, 2010 'I'll go where You want me to go and do what You want me to do' is now being tested and tried. I look with anticipation toward what God will do in this new era.

Readings for Last Stretch of 2010

Currently, I make no claims to be in an exclusive, monogomous relationship with any particular book. While the Bible is my spiritual, moral, theological, practical and universal compass - I seek to evade and avoid any comparison with such a sacred text. However, I must admit, I am quite unfaithful when it comes to entering into a one-on-one read with just one piece of literature these days. I am finally adding some rhyme and reason to my reading regimen, with no particular order of importance:

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A long-term theological read; A devotional read for spiritual formation; A reading of pastoral insight for church ministry; and reading for pastoral care and chaplaincy; and a reading for the sharpening of preaching and teaching formation.

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At one point, I strove to read one book per week. However, with the present task of serving as a chaplain resident (demanding 48 hours per week); pastoring a fledgling congregation; fulfilling my role as a husband to D'Ani and 2 demanding boys; and a crying infant - one book per week, in addition to sermon prep, rest, reflection, prayer and my regular Bible reading - is almost unrealistic and hyperbole.



Therefore, if I can complete (with reflection and retention) these works, by the end of the year, I will consider myself 'on my A-game':

• Long-Term Theological Read: Systematic Theology by Wayne Grudem
  


• Devotional Read for Spiritual Formation: Eat This Book by Eugene Peterson & God is in the Small Stuff by Bruce & Stan
  


• A Reading of Pastoral Insight for Church Ministry: The Church Awakening by Charles R. Swindoll & The Church God Blesses by Jim Cymbala
  


• Reading for Pastoral Care and Chaplaincy: The Theory and Practice of Group Psychotherapy by Irvin D. Yalom
  


• Preaching & Teaching: The Preacher and His Preaching by Alfred Gibbs

Signs of a Dead Church

For quite some time now, I've been reflecting upon 1) How I can renew and refresh my creativity and passion for ministry as a pastor 2) How this desire can flow into the hearts of our membership and 3) How to translate these dynamics into action, change and execution.

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One of my burdens, as a pastor, has been for our congregation to develop and cultivate a passion to share Christ with others. In all honesty, this has been my greatest challenge in my now 16 years of ministry - to motivate our core group in this specific area of Christian duty and responsibility. It just so happens, we have reached a crossroads where both our Sunday School is now centered on the New Testament Book of Acts, while our Mid-Week Teachings now focus on The Person of the Holy Spirit. While it seems repetive and redundant, I believe the Spirit of God has us here for a reason! My hope and prayer is to see the people whom I serve becoming excited and enthralled about the Gospel of Jesus Christ; and continually graduate from being served to serving others in life-transforming encounters and Christ-centered forms. Incidentally, I happened upon an article that I believe EVERY Pastor and Church who is serious about developing within it's local fellowship an awareness of sharing the Gospel....should read this article. Even if that local fellowship refuses to nomen or ascribe themselves as 'Dead', I believe the repeated nuance of 'sharing Christ', between the lines of the article, is beyond coincidental. I believe Easum is on to something that we all need to hear!

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Daryl Kearney Six Signs of a Spiritually Dead ChurchBy: Bill Easum

For much of the past three decades, denominational officials have been promoting seminars and programs aimed at revitalizing the church. I know because I have been the speaker or consultant to many of these groups. For many of these leaders, their goal was to breathe new life into churches experiencing declining memberships and lack of commitment. Yet after years of trying to revitalize these churches, the vast majority of them are still declining. What gives?

Reformation, renewal, and revitalization assume some preexisting foundation of faith from which to raise up a new church. But what if that assumption isn't correct? What if the assumption is part of our problem? What if being a member of a church for 40 years doesn't automatically guarantee any spiritual depth? What if holding every office in the church doesn't automatically mean someone is a disciple of Jesus Christ? Do we dare look deep enough into our souls to find answers to these questions?

Based on the conversations and actions of the thousands of Protestant leaders with whom I worked over the years, I have concluded that most of them are spiritually dead and their institutions have ceased being the church. They have the form but not the substance of what it means to be the church.

Let me define what I mean by spiritually dead churches. If your church spends most of its energy on itself and its members, it's spiritually dead.

Such churches are living corpses. They are physically alive; some may even be growing; but they are spiritually dead to the mission of the New Testament church—to make disciples of Jesus Christ. They've turned inward and exist solely for themselves. They look for ways to serve themselves, and the kingdom be damned.

They're like baby birds sitting in the nest with their mouths open waiting for momma bird (pastor) to feed them with no concept that Jesus intends them to feed others. Oh, they might collect money to send away to some distant mission field, but they're all thumbs when it comes to sharing the good news with their neighbor or community. What growth they might experience is not of their doing—it just happens because of the population growth around them.

Here are eight death clues. Spiritually dead churches:

1. Have lost their sense of mission to those who have not heard about Jesus Christ and do not pant after the Great Commission;
2. Exist primarily to provide fellowship for the "members of the club;"
3. Expect their pastors to focus primarily on ministering to the members' personal spiritual needs;
4. Design ministry to meet the needs of their members;
5. Have no idea about the needs of the "stranger outside the gates;"
6. Are focused more on the past than the future;
7. Often experience major forms of conflict;
8. And watch the bottom line of the financial statement more than the number of confessions of faith.
Bringing life back
The starting point for unfreezing a stuck organizational system is the development of a solid community of faith that includes spiritual leaders, the absence of major conflict, trust, and a desire to connect with the unchurched world.

True spiritual maturity is approached when people turn their attention to those outside the church and seek ways to spread the good news rather than exercise their entitlements as members. Unfortunately, too many pastors assume their church has spiritual leaders and skip right over this starting point. It has become apparent to me that most church leaders do not understand that the decline of their church is due to the lack of spiritual depth on the part of their leadership.

So, now, I want to go deeper on the spiritual issue. It's not just that our churches are stuck; they are spiritually bankrupt!

I know. These churches are filled mostly with good Christian people, but there's no discernable spiritual power, just good Christian people—and we all know what Jesus said about being good. (Mark 10:18)
So it's obvious. Isn't it? The only solution for spiritually dead congregations is resurrection. You can't revitalize something that is dead. They must be brought to life again! And that is resurrection.

Revitalization is a waste of time. You can't breathe life into a corpse. Only God can do that, and that is resurrection.

My experience has taught me the resurrection of a church happens in three stages. It begins with a new pastor. Either the pastor experiences a personal resurrection or the church actually gets a new pastor. Next is the resurrection of the leaders of the church either by transformation or replacement. Finally, the church itself is resurrected and turned around through some tactical change. Then, if resurrection happens, our behavior changes:

1. The church turns outward in its focus.
2. Jesus, not the institution, will become the object of our affection.
3. The Great Commission will become our mandate, and we will measure everything we do by how many new converts we make rather than whether we have a black bottom line.
4. Membership in the Kingdom will replace membership in the church.
5. Pastors will cease being chaplains of pastoral care and will become modern-day apostles of Jesus Christ.
6. And those who try to control the church with an iron fist or intimidate the church at every turn of the road will be shown the door.

The primary reason society is shunning the institutional church is because for the most part it is spiritually dead. Spiritually alive churches, no matter what their form or where they are planted, always grow. That is the nature of the beast. That is the kind of church God honors. That is what the church was put on earth to do—spread the good news. When a church faithfully does that, it grows. Period.

Adapted from "A Second Resurrection" by Bill Easum from Abingdon Press

7 Things Your Pastor (Kraig Pullam) doesn't know!!!

1. I don't know how to pastor a church without God's help.

2. I don't know how to pastor a church without being immersed in prayer.

3. I don't know how to pastor a church without casting a vision.

4. I don't know how to pastor a church without building a team.

5. I don't know how to pastor a church without hard work.

6. I don't know how to pastor a church without incurring pain.

7. I don't know how to pastor a church without endurance.

Wesley's 25 Articles

The below (though many have read before, I have I) is so powerful, I thought I'd place it here. Enjoy!


John Wesley’s 25 Articles

Article I—Of Faith in the Holy TrinityThere is but one living and true God, everlasting, without body or parts, of infinite power, wisdom, and goodness; the maker and preserver of all things, both visible and invisible. And in unity of this Godhead there are three persons, one of substance, power, and eternity—the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

Article II—Of the Word, or Son of God, Who Was Made Very ManThe Son, who is the Word of the Father, the very and eternal God, of one substance with the Father, took man’s nature in the womb of the blessed Virgin; so that two whole and perfect natures, that is to say, the Godhead and Manhood, were joined together in one person, never to be divided, whereof is one Christ, very God and very Man, who truly suffered, was crucified, dead, and buried, to reconcile his Father to us, and to be a sacrifice, not only for original guilt, but also for actual sins of men.

Article III—Of the Resurrection of ChristChrist did truly rise again from the dead, and took again his body, with all things appertaining to the perfection of man’s nature, wherewith he ascended into heaven, and there sitteth until he return to judge all men at the last day.

Article IV—Of the Holy GhostThe Holy Ghost, proceeding from the Father and the Son, is of one substance, majesty, and glory with the Father and the Son, very and eternal God.

Article V—Of the Sufficiency of the Holy Scriptures for SalvationThe Holy Scripture containeth all things necessary to salvation; so that whatsoever is not read therein, nor may be proved thereby, is not to be required of any man that it should be believed as an article of faith, or be thought requisite or necessary to salvation. In the name of the Holy Scripture we do understand those canonical books
of the Old and New Testament of whose authority was never any doubt in the church. The names of the canonical books are:

Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, Deuteronomy, Joshua, Judges, Ruth, The First Book of Samuel, The Second Book of Samuel, The first book of Kings, The Second Book of Kings, The First Book of chronicles, The Second Book of Chronicles, The Book of Ezra, The Book of Nehemiah, The Book of Esther, The Book of Job, The Psalms, The Proverbs, Ecclesiastes or the Preacher, Cantica or Songs of Solomon, Four Prophets the Greater, Twelve Prophets the Less. All the books of the New Testament, as they are commonly received, we do receive and account canonical.

Article VI—Of the Old TestamentThe Old Testament is not contrary to the New; for both in the Old and New Testament everlasting life is offered to mankind by Christ, who is the only Mediator between God and man, being both God and Man. Wherefore they are not to be heard who feign that the old fathers did look only for transitory promises. Although the law given from God by Moses as touching ceremonies and rites doth not bind Christians, nor ought the civil precepts thereof of necessity by received in any commonwealth; yet notwithstanding, no Christian whatsoever is free from the obedience of the commandments which are called moral.

Article VII—Of Original or Birth SinOriginal sin standeth not in the following of Adam (as the Pelagians do vainly talk), but it is the corruption of the nature of every man, that naturally is engendered of the offspring of Adam, whereby man is very far gone from original righteousness, and of his own nature inclined to evil, and that continually.
Article VIII—Of Free WillHe condition of man after the fall of Adam is such that he cannot turn and prepare himself, by his own natural strength and works, to faith, and calling upon God; wherefore we have not power to do good works, pleasant and acceptable to God, without the grace of God by Christ preventing us, that we may have a good will, and working with us, when we have that good will.

Article IX—Of the Justification of ManWe are accounted righteous before God only for the merit of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, by faith, and not for our own works or deserving. Wherefore, that we are justified by faith, only, is a most wholesome doctrine, and very full of comfort.

Article X—Of Good WorksAlthough good works, which are the fruits of faith, and follow after justification, cannot put away our sins, and endure the severity of God’s judgment; yet re they pleasing and acceptable to God in Christ, and spring out of a true and lively faith, insomuch that by them a lively faith may be as evidently known as a tree is discerned by its fruit.

Article XI—Of Works of SupererogationVoluntary works—besides, over and above God’s commandments—which they call works of supererogation, cannot be taught without arrogancy and impiety. For by them men do declare that they do not only render unto God as much as they are bound to do, but that they do more for his sake than of bounden duty is required; whereas Christ saith plainly: When you have done all that is commanded you, say, we are unprofitable servants.

Article XII—Of Sin After JustificationNot even sin willingly committed after justification is the sin against the Holy Ghost, and unpardonable. Wherefore, the grant of repentance is not to be denied to such as fall into sin after justification. After we have received the Holy Ghost, we may depart from grace given, and fall into sin, and, by the grace of God, rise again and amend our lives. And therefore they are to be condemned who say they can no more sin as long as they live there; or deny the place of forgiveness to such as truly repent.

Article XIII—Of the ChurchThe visible church of Christ is a congregation of faithful men in which the pure Word of God is preached, and the Sacraments duly administered according to Christ’s ordinance, in all those things that of necessity are requisite to the same.

Article XIV—Of PurgatoryThe Romish doctrine concerning purgatory, pardon, worshiping, and adoration, as well as images as of relics, and also invocation of saints, is a fond thing, vainly invented, and grounded upon no warrant of Scripture, but repugnant to the Word of God.

Article XV—Of Speaking in the congregation in Such a Tongue as the People UnderstandIt is a thing plainly repugnant to the Word of God, and the custom of the primitive church, to have public prayer in the church, or to minister the Sacraments, ina tongue not understood by the people.

Article XVI—Of the SacramentsSacraments ordained of Christ are not only badges or tokens of Christian men’s profession, but rather they are certain signs of grace, and God’s good will toward us, by which he doth work invisibly in us, and doth not only quicken, but also strengthen and confirm, our faith in him.

There are two Sacraments ordained of Christ our Lord in the Gospel; that is to say, Baptism and the Supper of the Lord. Those five commonly called sacraments, that is to say, confirmation, penance, orders, matrimony, and extreme unction, are not to be counted for Sacraments of the Gospel; being such as have partly grown out of the corrupt following of the apostles, and partly are states of life allowed in the Scripture, but yet have not the like nature of Baptism and the Lord’s Supper, because they have not any visible sign or ceremony ordained of God.

The Sacraments were not ordained of Christ to be gazed upon, or to be carried about; but that we should duly use them. And in such only as worthily receive the same, the have a wholesome effect or operation; but they that receive them unworthily, purchase to themselves condemnation, as St. Paul saith.

Article XVII—Of BaptismBaptism is not only a sign of profession and mark of difference whereby Christians are distinguished from others that are not baptized; but it is also a sign of regeneration or the new birth. The Baptism of young children is to be retained in the Church.

Articles XVIII—Of the Lord’s SupperThe Supper of the Lord is not only a sign of the love that Christians ought to have among themselves one to another, but rather is a sacrament of our redemption by Christ’s death; insomuch that, to such as rightly, worthily, and with faith receive the same, the bread which we break is a partaking of the body of Christ; and likewise the cup of blessing is a partaking of the blood of Christ. Transubstantiation, or the change of the substance of bread and wine in the Supper of our Lord, cannot be proved by Holy Writ, but is repugnant to the plain words of Scripture, overthroweth the nature of a sacrament, and hath given occasion to many superstitions.

The body of Christ is given, taken, and eaten in the Supper, only after a heavenly and spiritual manner. And the mean whereby the body of Christ is received and eaten in the Supper is faith.

The Sacrament of the Lord’s Supper was not by Christ’s ordinance reserved, carried about, lifted up, or worshiped.

Article XIX—Of Both KindsThe cup of the Lord is not to be denied to the lay people; for both the parts of the Lord’s Supper, by Christ’s ordinance and commandment, ought to be administered to all Christians alike.

Article XX—Of the One Oblation of Christ, Finished upon the CrossThe offering of Christ, once made, is that perfect redemption, propitiation, and satisfaction for all the sins of the whole world, both original and actual; and there is none other satisfaction for sin but that alone. Wherefore the sacrifice of masses, in the which it is commonly said that the priest doth offer Christ for the quick and the dead, to have remission of pain or guilt, is a blasphemous fable and dangerous deceit.

Article XXI—Of the Marriage of MinistersThe ministers of Christ are not commanded by God’s law either to vow the estate of single life, or to abstain from marriage; therefore it is lawful for them, as for all other Christians, to marry at their own discretion, as they shall judge the same to serve best to godliness.

Article XXII—Of the Rites and Ceremonies of ChurchesIt is not necessary that rites and ceremonies should in all places be the same, or exactly alike; for they have been always different, and may be changed according to the diversity of countries, times, and men’s manners, to that nothing be ordained against God’s Word. Whosoever, through his private judgment, willingly and purposely doth openly break the rites and ceremonies of the church to which he belongs, which are not repugnant to the Word of god, and are ordained and approved by common authority, out to be rebuked openly, that others may fear to do the like, as one that offended against the common order of the church, and woundeth the consciences of weak brethren. Every particular church may ordain, change, or abolish rites and ceremonies, so that all things may be done to edification.

Article XXIII—Of the Rulers of the Unites States of AmericaThe President, the Congress, the general assemblies, the governors, and the councils of state, as the delegates of the people, are the rulers of the United States of America, according to the division of power made to them by the Constitution of the United States and by the constitutions of their respective states. And the said states are a sovereign and independent nation, and ought not to be subject to any foreign jurisdiction.

Article XXIV—Of Christian Men’s GoodsThe riches and goods of Christians are not common as touching the right, title, and possession of the same, as some do falsely boast. Notwithstanding, every man ought, of such things as he possesseth, liberally to give alms to the poor, according to his ability.

Article XXV—Of a Christian Man’s OathAs we confess that vain and rash swearing is forbidden Christian men by our Lord Jesus Christ and James his apostle, so we judge that the Christian religion doth not prohibit, but that a man may swear when the magistrate requireth, in a cause of faith and charity, so it be done according to the prophet’s teaching, in justice, judgment, and truth. [The following Article from the Methodist Protestant Discipline is placed here by the Uniting Conference (1939). It was not one of the Articles of Religion voted upon by the three churches.]

Of Sanctification
Sanctification is that renewal of our fallen nature by the Holy Ghost, received through faith in Jesus Christ, whose blood of atonement cleanseth from all sin; whereby we are not only delivered from the guilt of sin, but are washed from its pollution, saved from its power, and are enabled, through grace, to love God with all our herts and to walk in his holy commandments blameless. [The following provision was adopted by the Uniting Conference (1939). This statement seeks to interpret to our churches in foreign lands Article XXIII of the Articles of Religion. It is a legislative enactment but is not a part of the Constitutional. (See Judicial Council Decision 41, 176, and Decision 6, Interim Judicial Council.)]

Of the Duty of Christians to the Civil Authority
It is the duty of all Christians, and especially of all Christian ministers, to observe and obey the laws and commands of the governing or supreme authority of the country of which they are citizens or subjects or in which they reside, and to use all laudable means to encourage and enjoin obedience to the powers that be.

You Call Yourself a Pastor?

Permit me a moment to vent my frustration. I've served in the capacity of a Senior Pastor for almost 6 years now (though I'll be officially celebrating my 5 year anniversary in 2 weeks). There has been something that has caused me great frustration as well as confusion. For the most part, it comes from those who profess to be ministers of the gospel, who seem to promote everything that could potentially, one day, affect their own ministy. Now, I can already hear someone saying - Pastor, it is your responsibility to love them inspite of; and it is your responsibility to train and teach them a better way. I honestly believe I do both.

Admittedly, while one character trait stands out to me more than the others, let me highlight the others:

- Ministers who won't tithe or don't believe in giving. (In my view, this is an oxymorom - a minister who wants to be a pastor who refuses to tithe!)
- Ministers who gossip with the laity.
- Ministers who don't come to Bible study or Sunday School but are frustrated with not preaching enough on Sundays.

And, the one I fail to understand the most:
Ministers who glory and celebrate the fall of other Pastors.

A Pastor or Minister who glories in the fall of another Pastor should examine his Pastoral heart. Our stance for righteousness should never come at the expense of love and compassion for our fallen fellow-soldiers.

Though I make no claims to be the authority of any Pastor who would visit this blog. It is just my humble belief that, if we preach and proclaim Christ, we can uplift one another without condoning what another person does. Mind you, I am speaking from the standpoint of a Pastor who, as of this date, has not been involved in any major scandal, outside of the typical things any GOOD pastor deals with, such as those who are disgruntled, drop off in attendance, anger over a specific topic or teaching. But I must say, though I haven't 'fallen', in the typical sense of 'falling', we should never run to our members and engage in tearing down our fellow-ministers as well.

Of course, we should always uphold righteousness and, at times, this will require addressing certain things with our members, and share with them the error in the minister's life; and how the avoid those pitfalls. For instance, there was a certain Bishop who had been accused of beating his wife in a parking lot in the Atlanta, GA area. Our members came to our Bible Study, addressing the issue and desiring to know my stance and perspective. Of course, I did not ignore or condone that minister's actions. If what he did occured, there is NO justification for his actions. But am I in a position to wish his ministry to doom or failure if he truely repents and seeks restoration? Should I go throw a party after I see his ministry declining?

My honest perspective (though this is really a random blog, with no scriptural notations) is a person who glories in a fellow-minister's demise should examine their heart. As we should never glory in the laity's fall or doom, we should never loathe in the failure of fellow ministers. Are there times when you must distance yourself? Yes, there may be times for that, according to scripture. But should you celebrate a Christian Leader's fall? I will continue in my study regarding this matter...but, for now, I say that is entirely wrong! If you have any thoughts, I would love to hear your perspectives!

Majoring in the Minors

We're proud of our buildings. We're proud of our budgets. We're proud of our degrees. We're proud of our programs. We're proud of our robed choirs. We're proud of all that we're doing through the cleverness of human wisdom and ingenuity of carnal abilities. And, out of the midst of that repulsive pride, there has evolved a sickening brand of self-satisfied, dry-eyed church member who wouldn't shed a tear over some poor lost sinner if his or her very life depended upon it. -Junior Hill

Another Year

Well, as the day comes to a close - I can honestly say that I am thankful and grateful for this day! Today, for me, was bitter sweet. Sweet, in that God has allowed me to see another year of life. On August 14, 1978 at 7:40am, I entered the world! I am thankful to see 32; and humbled that God would use me to communicate the message of His love to others through the proclamation of His holy and righteous Word. What makes this time bitter is the fact that, during this time each year - for the past 11 years - I have been in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, preparing to preach at the Fairview Baptist Church, Dr. J.A. Reed, Jr., Senior Pastor. I never shall forget recieving the call immediately after returning from our honeymoon in LAs Vegas, from Pastor 'Pop' Reed, asking if I would be there with them. Little did I know that this man whom I had never met would turn out to be such a blessing and inspiration to my wife and I; and discovering that this one man has been such a blessing to many, many preachers, pastors and Chrstians. Because of circumstances, particularly being in the midst of a Chaplain Residency in Harris County Hospital District, I am unable to be with them this year for their youth revival. While I will miss them this year, I am thankful for 11 years! I am grateful for the family D'Ani and I have gained and the rich memories and moments we've shared together. Because of this, I am eternally grateful and indebted.

Sunday in Retrospect

It has been a busy, yet productive, weekend. Having the opportunity to visit Dallas always brings back feels of nostalgia and serendipity. Moreover, having the blessed opportunity to be with my old classmate, preaching colleague and friend, Rev. Bertrain Bailey, was very special and a great joy. Bertrain has been a friend of mine since my early days at Dallas Baptist University. Changing of cities, pastorates, preaching responsibilities, etc. have caused us to lose touch, but not with the abandoning of our love and respect for one another. He pastors the St. John Missionary Baptist Church (Dallas, TX); and is married to Kim, both of them growing up as Pastor's kids, from great preaching legacies. In addition, I had the opportunity to spend some to worship with my uncle, Rev. Lloyd A. Pullam, and the St. Emmanual Baptist Church for their Homecoming Celebration, there in Denton, TX. I am grateful for this day; but I am also tired!!!

It's Been Some Time

I've only blogged once in the year 2010? Shame on me! My hope is to do much better in the coming months and for the remainder of the year. I have noticed, in the blog world, a paradigm shift within my blog fraternity (and sorority) from Blogspot.com to Facebook.com. I have seen both the advantages and disadvantages of this shift, but I will not extrapolate my idiosyncratic assertions here. What I will do is seek to express my love for writing, along with my desire to renew my commitment to this available outlet of blogging, and my hope that others will renew their commitment to do the same.

I have been going through an unusual season of life and ministry. Serving in the preaching ministry, now over 16 years; and serving in pastoral ministry, now over 8 years - God has taken me both on an amazing, yet peculiar, journey. It is my hope and prayer to highlight my feelings, emotions, joys, fears and faith throughout this continuous journey. All in all, God has been good! I have seen various angles throughout this journey of ministry and, as time goes on, I pray that the Father will continue to lead, guide and instruct my steps as I dance with Him in my worship, stewardship, life, ministry, family and faith.

The most interesting thing that has occured to me since my last blog is the announcement of my third child, another boy! I have come to view this new addition (due in October) as a gift from God! I'm looking forward to the joy of this new addition; as well as all of the other things going on in my life. God is so good, even when we often fail to see the forest for our little trees - yes, He is STILL so GOOD!!!

In Retrospect

To think that it has been over two (2) months since my last blog is beyond belief or comprehension! In surveying the record, my last post was on Nov. 21, 2009. Since that time, I have continued to find myself immersed in both my work and ministry as I have sought to prioritize my relationship with my Father and family. To say that I have a newfound respect for the bi-vocational Pastor would be an understatement. To comprehend what a bivocational Pastor experiences from day to day can be incomprehensible to a full-time Pastor, much less the laity! I have come to value many different aspects of God's grace along the way. First, I value time off, particularly time with D'Ani and the boys. Secondarily, I value the impromptu gift of God's Holy Spirit in the preaching moment. You may ask why? It is because various demands can at times rob the minister/pastor of the usual study time he may feel that is needed. Strangely, I believe the Father is strengthening my preaching as I dance with my challenges through this stage and phase of my spiritual growth, development and maturation. In addition, I have sensed a sharper motivation and desire to see my people grow, serve and share the gospel! Some of this may be slightly selfish in one sense....because I don't want to be bivocational all of my life! But I must also say...my love and commitment to God's plan for my life far exceeds my little selfish inclinations and tendencies.

With all that being said, my trade is chaplancy!!!! Which means, I am paid to pray, encourage and uplift others in need. In a real sense, I am in full time ministry. I strongly believe now that every seminary graduate should do a minimum of one year in chaplancy at a hospital or healthcare instituion. Nothing compares; and nothing can develop such pastoral prowess and ministerial grit. That being said, I cannot imagine what the pastor goes through-the pastor who is entrenched in a profession that isn't even remotely connected to ministry. My point -let's keep all Pastors...bivocational or not...in our prayers!!!

Blog Number 200

According to my numbers, this is my 200th blog! I have been silent a lot recently due to self-reflection and assesment, my own current challenges and, most of all...what I would like to disclose in this blog. I am currently preparing for our Thanksgiving Worship Service on tomorrow. I am still in the midst of my study. My heart has been heavy, trying to articulate my own struggles; and decided to visit my big brother, Pastor Tony Rhone's, blog. He is always a constant in my life and a volume yet to be read by so many. His blog blessed and touched me so profoundly that it quickened and freed something within me in my own life. I can literally see myself in every single line. Therefore, I wanted to post his blog, giving him complete credit. His blog address is www.myfirstchurch.blogspot.com
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Are we there yet? Are we there yet? When we will get there? These are the troubling questions of unseasoned travelers who long to get to the appointed destination without enjoying the view along the way. And such is the experience of the new pastor, so I am learning.

Pastoring is not an easy job! If done right I believe it empties one of self and leaves him in a postion where he cannot operate effectively on any strength of his own. Let me say atleast that has been my experience.

Upon arrival at my current assignment I was most assured that I was prepared and equipped for the road ahead. I knew within a few short months of this new journey that we as a people would arrive at destinations unbefore seen. And so with the earger energy of a beaver I got after it, digging and chugging along giving it all I had. I just knew that my growing biblical acumen and serious comittment were enough to transform the life of the people and the church.

After almost 4 years of that kind of foolishness, I am still asking the question, "Are we there yet?". Boy what juvenile ignorance! It feels like and looks like from my perspective that the car is still in the driveway. I need patience.

I have learned that Pastoring is not for the faint of heart. You can literally die because of ministerial setbacks. I have experienced this a lot this year. It seems like I have lost more than I have gained. My heart has been broken by people I thought were really with the program only to discover they had hidden motives and agendas. This has been the lonliest year of my ministry as I have suffered in silence while pretending that everything was okay. Man this is tough stuff. I find myself wanting to cry but the tears just will not flow. "Are we there yet?" I want to get out, I am just about tired of the ride. No one really knows how I feel and to try express this to someone is really an exercise in futility because I still have to go right back to my pulpit next Sunday wanting to be further down the road only to discover we haven't made much progress.

Lest I seem ungrateful, I thank God for this experienc. I have learned to thank God for the slow but steady progress. I thank God for the heartaches caused by others because these experiences remind me that God really does use weak people.

So thank you Lord for your Sovereign arrangement of circumstances at Galilee. Thank you that you keep reminding me that it must be none of me and all of you.

Are we there yet? I don't know and I pray that I wont be preoccupied with the nagging question. May the Lord grant me the wisdom and patience to just enjoy the ride.

Thank you Lord, Thank you!